Turning 50: The Beginning of the Second Half of Your Life

Turning 50 may be the most important milestone birthday in adult life. It can be experienced foolishly or with delight. I strongly recommend the latter.

A (not so) Secret to Aging Well: Active Mind and Body

I met my friend, Braden, for brunch…I am struck by how little he has aged. He is the bright, creative, fun, talented, energetic and unique fellow he always was. In addition, he has integrated a layer of wisdom into his personality (the big prize in aging well)… I know many people Braden’s age who are already old…Get off the sofa and stretch forward into your long and happy life.

Write Down Preferences for Hypothetical Crises

Yesterday, I attended the monthly meeting of the Caregiver Forum at the Texas Voice Project for Parkinson Disease…One attendee spoke about how difficult it was to reason with her spouse as his dementia symptoms increase. No one came up with a good solution to this person’s dilemma…Please, please develop eldercare plans for you and your parents while everyone is healthy. …having a plan gives everyone an orientation point. Choices and preferences may change. Any clues are better than trying to persuade an elder to make a frightening change during a time of crisis.

Respecting Elders as Adults Even When We All Want to Act Like Babies

Always, always, always treat an aging elder, parent, friend, or enemy as an adult, not as a child in an aging body. The elder may be totally demented and irrational. It doesn’t matter…Ultimately, you may have to make the decision they least prefer, but it will be done respectfully and as a decision between adults with conflicting needs and agendas. That may be the best you can do, but it will always be better than deciding and carting the voiceless elder away to a new situation.

The New Elder’s Blog as Repository of Better Ideas for Aging

The goal of The New Elder’s Blog is to build a community that will wrestle with difficult issues related to aging and develop better ways of dealing with the challenges that may arise. Search the catalog with key words and pull up 10-20 examples about how others have addressed a related problem. … Maybe embellish on an idea to make it work even better. The new solution can then be added back to the Repository of Better Ideas for others to access.

Senior Housing: When One Parent Must Move Without the Other

This posting is about CCRC’s. Logically, they make sense…CCRC’s solve the problem of the continuum of physical care. They rarely address the emotional issues families face as an elder moves from one stage of need to the next.

Senior Housing: Sharing a House with Friends

There will not be enough affordable services to meet all the upcoming needs of geriatric Baby Boomers. We are gong to have to help ourselves and each other. I don’t have a lot of friends, but the ones I do have are gems. Most of them live very far away from me. I can think of few things more wonderful that living close to them as I slow down physically.

There are a zillion senior living ideas out there. Let’s start sharing them, so that more of us can build on the ideas of others. We need to have a number of senior housing models from which we can select our preferred futures.

The Extended Family: Gaining New People to Love

We spend much energy on current and anticipated losses while we care for aging parents–losses of senses, capabilities, independence, friends, family, and life. When you feel yourself dragged into the doldrums, take stock of your gains.

Recently, I gained a wonderful husband and a new branch to my extended family tree. I get to keep these people and hold them close. When I take time to remind myself of gains, I am able to remember that life is a flow. There will be losses, but our gains will help us get through them.

The Vocabulary of Aging

We need to define more clearly a whole world that is quite unclear for most of us. Let’s hear some good new vocabulary words. If we don’t define our own aging, someone else will do it for us.

Caregiver Rage: Dementia and the Dentist

This posting addresses the least clinical aspect of caregiving–unmanageable emotions… A dentist appointment was my first outing with Mom since…I was nervous for myself and was also physically and mentally weak.

I performed all the appropriate, responsible tasks competently. The surprise was my emotional reaction when the dentist told me Mom had three new cavities. All my thoughts were for me, I am ashamed to report.