Caregiver Rage: Dementia and the Dentist

This posting addresses the least clinical aspect of caregiving–unmanageable emotions… A dentist appointment was my first outing with Mom since…I was nervous for myself and was also physically and mentally weak.

I performed all the appropriate, responsible tasks competently. The surprise was my emotional reaction when the dentist told me Mom had three new cavities. All my thoughts were for me, I am ashamed to report.

Health Maintenance for Seniors: A Visit to the Dentist

My Mom has always had beautiful, well-kept teeth. Last summer she had a root canal and crown put in, a rare event. Her dentist told us that she needed to brush her teeth extremely carefully and at least 3 times a day. It seems plaque is building up on her gums faster than in the past.

Three months later we returned for a cleaning. To my horror, at the end of the visit the hygienist took me aside and told me Mom had three new cavities since the last time she was there–three months ago!!!??? Both Mom and I were quite upset by the report. She told me Mom needed to brush very, very carefully.

The change is that her dementia is increasing. She no longer brushes and flosses her teeth with care. She can’t focus well enough to do it thoroughly.

The Virtual Dementia Tour: A Real Life Horror House

What I learned, in a few minutes of simulated dementia, is that dementia is very frightening. It was like being in a Halloween horror house. I had a hard time seeing and found the noise to be maddening. I barely completed two out of eight tasks in ten minutes. When I realized someone was in the room with me I was incredibly grateful to know I was not alone. It kept me from panicking completely.