Write Down Preferences for Hypothetical Crises

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Yesterday, I attended the monthly meeting of the Caregiver Forum at the Texas Voice Project for Parkinson Disease. The Texas Voice Project recognizes that victims of Parkinson Disease experience voice loss due to the gradual reduction of muscle control in the throat and esophagus.  Even more importantly, voice loss in Parkinson patients can lead to death. 

Executive Director, Samantha Elandary, started The Texas Voice Project in her living room when she recognized that people with Parkinson Disease did not die of the disease itself, but most likely died from aspiration pneumonia.  Because of weak esophagus muscles, food and bacteria can get caught in the lungs and cause a person with Parkinson’s to develop infections that do kill. 

The speaker at yesterday’s meeting was Richard L. Fulbright, Ph.D., who spoke on “The Cognitive Aspects of Parkinson Disease”.  One attendee spoke about how difficult it was to reason with her spouse as his dementia symptoms increase.  No one came up with a good solution to this person’s dilemma.

Please, please develop eldercare plans for you and your parents while everyone is healthy.  It makes a huge difference.  When families discuss hypothetical situtations before the onset of frailty, fear is less, and rational adults can understand why the discussion is valuable.  Write down potential plans based upon hypothetical situations.  Then, years later, when changes are needed for the elder’s wellbeing, decisions are made based upon something real.  If an adult child pulls out a plan developed by a parent years ago, it provides some sort of starting point for discussions today.   For example: Take a child who lives in California with parents who live in New York. They discuss and develop a plan in which the parent will move closer to the child if or when physical or mental changes require more support.  Years later, when one parent dies and the other is having fender benders and leaving the stove burning, the family will have to discuss the parent’s need for help.  Having a plan gives everyone an orientation point. Choices and preferences may change.  Any clues are better than trying to persuade an elder to make a change that frightens them during a time of crisis. 

Preparing an Eldercare Plan is an act of love and courage by both parents and children.